Activating Our Sacred “No”
In life we go through cycles of nesting, nourishment, reflection and creation; we move through ebbs and flows of incubation and activation.
To allow space for our cycles, we often have to create boundaries which allow us the space and time we need to nourish ourselves so that we can replenish and take positive action in the world. Creating these boundaries however can be the hardest part of manifesting the life of our dreams.
Recently, I have been taking a holistic look at the container of my life: the nest I have created for myself. In particular, I have been attuning to the energy of birds and tapping into their ritual of building a sacred nest for creation. I have begun to ask myself: Where can I fortify and have better protection to create the life I desire? I began to look at where I needed to utilize my Sacred No more in my life to create the time and space for my own nourishment.
The Sacred No is when we attune with our soul and allow ourselves to say no if something does not bring us pleasure. If we are not in pleasure and alignment then we are not actually able to create or support others. Our Sacred No is an opportunity to get attuned to our truth and to create relationships based on that truth rather than what you feel you have to do for others.
We need to know that holding our boundaries and living into our truths is enough. We can hold our Sacred No and be loved and accepted; when we do this, we allow room for creation.
In order to inquire further into my Sacred No, I have started to ask myself questions:
Where in my life have I committed to activities or people that I wish I had not?
Where are commitments in my life taking too much time, leaving me with no time for myself?
Where are the places in my life that I can give myself the gift of a Sacred No to create the life I desire?
Where are the holes in my nest that are not allowing me to be truly nourished?
I invite you to ponder these questions with me. To begin to understand places in life you feel you may be leaking energy, and begin to allow yourself the permission to say No. Know that with this also comes a trusting; trusting that as you begin this process, those people who do not hold space for your Sacred No will slowly phase away. Those who do not hold space for your full light are not worth the energy and effort. The people who are our community and support, should love us for exactly who we are. They should love us MORE for standing in our complete and absolute truth. This is healthy relating.
I remember years ago, I was at an event and a friend of a friend asked if I wanted to join everyone to go to the next party. I declined and told her that I simply wanted to go home and lay in my bed and cozy up with a cup of tea. She looked at me and said; “You are choosing that over coming out and having fun?” She then went into a monologue, trying to convince me to stay. My friend who overheard this conversation looked at her and said: “Emma does exactly what Emma wants to do. There is no point in trying to convince her, she knows what she wants and will always follow it.”
I reflect on this moment because it's true, when my soul is in alignment and I know what I want, I go for it. I allow myself to say No when it is holding my entire being as sacred. This is the biggest gift I have ever given to myself.
However, it is not an easy gift to give as in society today the idea of saying ‘no’ can be seen as selfish or negative. I have come to realize that these societal constructs are unhealthy not just for our own development, but for that of our community and personal connections. In society today there is an obsession with this idea of ‘selfishness.’ We have created a society where choosing ourselves over others is seen as negative. This is especially true for women who are held so strongly in the container of caregiver. However, I have begun to notice that when I choose my souls pleasure life begins to flow effortlessly. This holds true with my friends as well. When we each hold our own pleasure to the highest sacredness, the moments we join together become magic for we are nourished, held and in our true pleasure.
It is time for us to begin to shift this paradigm. Imagine a world where everyone followed their souls knowing, instead of the “I should, I’m supposed to, I have to.” The world would actually be full with people following their hearts desire as opposed to these limiting constructs placed upon us by society. In order to create change in the world we have to remember to also take care of ourselves. For if we are depleted, we are not showing up in our full capacity; we are not able to create and inspire. It is time for us to shift the paradigm and it might begin with one simple word…. NO.
I invite you to join me in activating our Sacred No.